Offering Hope for Survivors of Gender – Based Violence through Counselling

Tell us about your job and what you do

My name is Susan Setae. I am President of Papua New Guinea Counsellors’ Association.  I oversee the governance of the organization and also double up as the administration officer, managing the day to day operation of the organization

I used to be a school teacher but really wanted to serve in the community so I left teaching and became a community development worker. I am 74.

How did you get to be president of the Papua New Guinea National Counsellors Association?

I got here by aligning myself with women who were making a change: FSVAC National Coordinator Marcia Kalinoe and former FSVAC National Coordinator and now PNG Counsellors Association board advisor Ms. Ume Wainetti, whom I also worked with closely when I was president of the national council of women. She was my general secretary then.

You have really held high positions Susan…

Women need to step up to speak for issues affecting us.  I remember former FSVAC national coordinator Ms. Wainetti being very passionate about establishing counselling as a missing link to advocacy programmes on Gender Based Violence. We realized that we did a lot of awareness but there was something missing. We were not providing any form of support to help women overcome the violence they were experiencing.

In 2009, we began calling ourselves ‘barefoot counselors.  We saw ourselves as barefoot counsellors who had a little bit of training here and there mostly through addressing HIV/ AIDS and Church counselling.

We’d have five or ten days training and we’d think that we were already counselors! We later realized that counseling was more than just being there and giving advice or giving support. There was so much more be done to help survivors find a way out of the situations they were facing.  The barefoot counselors agreed that we should have an association and that’s how the PNG Counsellors Association was formed.

We called ourselves Papua New Guinea Counsellors Association because we felt that counselling could only be effective if we had fully trained counselors. Even today, our focus is on counsellors developing their capacity to provide professional counselling. We are aiming for counseling to be a profession in the country.

Barefoot counsellors. Is it because you walked barefoot? Where did the name come from?

(Laughs) Well, it’s because we felt that the name really portrayed who we were. Barefoot, in our own interpretation, meaning with almost nothing still going and offering help to our people. And yes, we would, and sometimes still walk barefoot!

How many ‘barefoot counselors’ were there?

 We were over 30 people when we made the decision to have an organization

How would you describe the counselling in the country?

Counselling is much needed profession. A needed service. Our mental well-being depends on counselling. The World Health organization has a very nice statement about mental health; Mental Health is important because every individual person has the right to be in a state of sound mind to develop their full potential to be productive citizens and to contribute meaningfully to the welfare and well-being of their communities

Counselling is part of our culture. We have people who were always there if there were deaths, if there were conflicts, if there were situations where you just needed someone to listen. This is what we knew as barefoot counselors.  We were just giving advice until we learnt that there was so much more to counselling. Effective counseling needs professional training, it needs you to sit through a class and gain skills about how to be effective in helping survivors to find solutions to the issues they are facing, without you telling them what to do.

Counselling has a proper ending. Did you know that? There is a proper ending when you see that a person has reached a time when they are able to move on with their life and make decisions about the problems they are facing on their own.

Interesting. Probably not many people knew that. That counselling has an ending

Yes, counseling has an ending. You have to end a set of sessions properly in order for you to know as a counsellor that the person is now ready to move on with their life.

Is there a timeframe?

It depends on the case presented to the counsellor.  Sometimes people drop through the sessions. This way, the person is not helped so they will continue coming back months later. When they do, it means they haven’t found their own solutions to the issues they are facing, it also means that we have not helped that person.

It’s very inspiring work at the same time very tiring. Counsellors also need self-care. We often advise our counsellors that one hour is the limit when holding a session. If you still need more time, break your sessions.

During our workshops, counsellors sometimes share that they have burn out. From this insight, one of the areas we are looking at is providing supervision and monitoring self-care of our counselors.   

When a survivor approaches you, as a counsellor, what are you usually thinking at that time? Where is your mind space?

First, I welcome them and make them feel at home. We also have to be very alert to know what type of issue we are going to be dealing with. Some of the women come because of children. Children abused by their fathers or their relatives. They come to know how to help their children.

Through training, counsellors acquire skills of listening, paraphrasing and digging deeper to find the feeling because often times people omit certain parts of their stories.

At the association, we have trained our counsellors to be empathetic - walking in the shoes of survivors. This way, the counselor knows the right questions to ask. When you ask the right questions, there will always be a response.  

If you ask any wrong questions, there might be reactions. You have to be very alert especially because you are dealing with people you don’t know. You have to be very careful with your words.

Silence is also a response.

Sometimes when you paraphrase someone, they cry because they never had someone say out loud what is happening to them. They’ll say ‘10 years is so long and I have been going through this’ and at that point the door of truth is opened. Paraphrasing is a very powerful tool.                             

Counsellors also have burnout. That is why they need to rest to ensure they are always in the right state of mind.  If the counsellor is a survivor and has not dealt with the issues they experienced, they will have flashbacks of their own lives when talking to survivors and this will affect their counselling.

In our trainings, we do self-searching. We have to know who we are and why we are counselling. We do a lot of activities and a lot of role plays. We draw and dance, telling our stories and listen to music in order for us to reflect and come out of our own issues.

Trauma counselling is also very important for counselors. It helps us to avoid triggers having identified and come to terms with feelings and emotions we have experienced after our own traumatic events.

What would you say is the biggest challenge women and girls are facing in PNG?

I think the biggest challenge for the women is battling the decision to leave or stay and whether to seek help such as counselling. A lot of women are unable to make decisions for the fact that the man may be the only bread winner in the family. The woman has no other means of surviving. So as counsellors we may ask if you left, what can you do to help yourself survive?

For girls, I think there is the challenge of a lack of understanding on what it takes to be a wife so early.  My wish is that every girl would know there is no need to rush; there is a long life ahead.

How do you ensure confidentiality? Is there fear for retaliation for you as a counselor?

We have to stay away from others for confidentiality; to safeguard the survivors from being further violated. I have never been afraid of being attacked by perpetrators of women whom I counsel.  Although I know the fear is there in our practice. Every time I have a session, I always have taken precaution measures to ensure that we are both safe.

What would you say to a woman who is really struggling somewhere right now and they don’t know how to take that first step to look for a counsellor?

You have a right to live a happy life. You have a right to live in happiness! I would like to look that person in the eyes and say there is help.

Ring 71508000. That is the PNG Counsellors Association help line. There are people to help you.

You have to look for help. And you have to look for help from people who have been trained to help you.

Women and girls should never treat violence as normal practice in their families.

How has counselling been affected by the pandemic?

We are getting more people seeking help because violence is happening in the homes when families are together. This was escalated during the lockdown, when husbands had to stay home because of COVID. More mothers were calling to report that their children have been abused.

We made a lot of referrals during that time.

When you wake up on your 80th birthday, how different do you hope that morning will be for the women and girls of Papua New Guinea?

I hope to see referral pathways strengthened. I hope that the PNG Counsellors Association will have played a key role is harmonizing the processes of service delivery to assist survivors to manage and overcome violence.

When survivors are sent from one spot to another, they eventually give up. I hope by the time I am 80, we can have achieved a model like the one stop shops. It is my dream to wake up to seamless referral pathways.

I also hope to see women and girls living a prosperous happy life. I want to see women holding hands with their husbands, walking happily.

Are you happy?

If I wasn’t happy, I would not be so passionately involved to help bring a change for our women and girls. I am very happy.

Those who are in a violent or abusive relationship are advised to call FREE 1-Tok Kaunselin Lain for help 7150 8000.

Spotlight Initiative Support

In order to increase the pool of available trained counsellors, the Papua New Guinea Counsellors Association is expanding training to ensure there are more counsellors in the country and they are better equipped to support survivors of violence in the community. The strengthening of the PNG Counsellors Association is an on-going National Family and Sexual Violence Action Committee (FSVAC) Project with assistance from the European Union – United Nations Spotlight Initiative to eliminate violence against women and girls.